Hello, Mrs. Pissed Off

Hello, Is your mother at home?
me: no, she has her own home would you like her number? (This happens to me each and every time someone wants to speak to an adult, seems I have a child like voice, but that is my one and only child like quality.)
Oh Mrs. Pissed Off, this is Mr. Math teacher at overcrowded high school.
I am your middle sons teacher.
me: Yes, can I help you?
Math: Well it seems your son has been wearing a small cast and said that he sprained his wrist.
me: Yes, he did
Math: oh, Well I did not see a doctor's note so I thought he was fooling around.
me: are you kidding me? Has he been doing his work?
math: well, yes but you know I had to make sure that he indeed sprained his wrist because you know some kids make up excuses to get out of work.
me: So, lets see. You just told me he is doing his work but you had to make sure because SOME kids make up excuses. Has middle one been making up excuses?
Math: he has not handed in a few math homework assignments.
me: How many?
Math: 3 but, he wants to type his homework assignments and I don't allow that.
me: Can you not give the kid a break and let him until he can at least write legibly?
math: well if I let one...................
me: So lets get this correct. My child wants to do the work but you won't allow him to just type his assignments for a few days, because he does not have a doctor's note. How about you let me do the work for him this way it is done and handed in or would that not work either because it would not be in his handwriting? Because this is what we are getting at correct. That you would have no way of knowing if he is doing the work or not. Is that the gist of it.
Math: now calm down Mrs. Pissed Off.
me: why does everyone tell me to calm down?
I do appreciate the phone call it shows to me that you at least care for my child to make the phone call, most teachers would not.
math: well if I can have a doctor's note.
me: okay I will get right on that.

I hang up the phone go into middle child's room read him the riot act and tell him to get on the ball and do his damn math homework and I don't care if it looks like it was written by a lab rat and next time he had better come to me and tell me what the hell is going on, so I can get a freaking doctors note.

disclaimer: don't leave me any nasty comments because after all I am on the teachers side.